House Hunting

When I first moved to the place I live now, I was really happy with it. OK, it's far from downtown, but it's quite big and cheap. Now, however, my feelings about it have changed, and it's time for a move closer to civilization.

After moving in here, it quickly became obvious that an old, retired couple's basement, is not the way to go. They're helpful enough, sure, but they're bored and 'all up in my by business'. I don't want to answer to my landlord about when I go to bed at night, who cooks or does the shopping, what we eat, and especially how late I sleep in on Saturday.


Something else about this flat, which gets less and less charming, is the amount of bugs. It's absolutely crawling with Silverfish.

Another thing is that it's humid, and the floors and walls are freezing in the winter. We're only heating the living room, and have a low heat on in the bedroom to keep it from rotting, and our power bill is three times as high as anyone else I talk to about it. One winter is this apartment is more than your health can handle, a second one is absolutely not recommended.

And the final thing, is that we've rented this place from and to August 1st, and there's a good chance they'll kick us out when the time for contract renewal is upon us. They have a grand daughter that will probably want an apartment this autumn, and in addition I do believe they disapprove of our lifestyle. Just the fact that we don't have a TV, is a thing that's been bothering them since we first moved in (FYI: We use a computer hooked up to a big screen. What's the difference?).

This all naturally leads up to:

House Hunting in Bergen

Or..How to Devote Your Entire Life to Reloading and Kissing Ass 

(in order to be robbed every month) 

All house hunting in Bergen, and most of Norway, takes place on FINN.no. This is the page where thousands of people sit around hitting the refresh button every 10 minutes, in case somebody posts another apartment. The second the apartment is up, if it's more or less within your budget and desired area, you call or send an e-mail, whatever they demand of you. When you call, you're likely to meet someone on the other end complaining that they just posted it 5 minutes ago, and have already received 10 calls.

So, after kissing ass on the phone, or sending off an e-mail, presenting yourself as the ultimate secure payer, who'll never be heard nor seen, you might get invited to a viewing. Hooray! This means you'll get to go look at the apartment, with probably around 0,5% chance of getting it. The good thing is that these odds don't bother you so much once you see the place, that sounded and looked oh-so-magnificent in the ad.

There are exceptions, but generally you have to translate the advertisers language to reality. The following dictionary might be useful:

So, when you're calling for the 70 square meters apartment, close to downtown in the historical area of the city, with balcony, newly renovated kitchen and bathroom, ocean view, in a quiet neighborhood, for kr. 7 500 per month, you should be well aware of what you're actually going to look at.

The apartment might not be a dream to live in, with the junkies leaving little surprises on your doorstep (nice of them to put the cap back on, though), but still you won't be the only ones looking at it. The above apartment listed in March will receive god-knows-how-many calls, and 130 couples viewing it. In July or August, you can easily triple that.

Finding a place to live in Bergen is a demanding process, and you're very likely to be overcharged when you do. If you're looking for a place from afar, and you can't show up to the viewings, you're really out of luck. In this case, try to get someone to represent you. It might not always work, but it's a lot better than nothing.

Like I said, luckily there are exceptions. I have found an apartment now, in the most comfortable way. It was listed, without a single lie in the ad, with the request that you'd e-mail and tell him a little bit about yourself. I did, he called me back the same day. He said we sounded nice, and that he'd take the apartment off the market until we got to view it. Then, if we didn't like it, he'd put it back on the market. and if we did, it was ours.


About a week later we went for a look, and in 3 weeks we're moving in. In the mean time he's getting us a wardrobe, painting all walls and ceilings, installing a new shower, preparing the kitchen for a dishwasher, and some more stuff. The house is in a cozy street, about 15 minutes walk from my work, and 5 from downtown. I can't wait!